Hi, I’m Nolan. Yes, I’m the sucker.

This is my site. I wrote it. Unfortunately, it’s accurate.

Official Sucker Statement

On being a sucker

I, Nolan Perret, acknowledge a consistent display of premium‑grade sucker energy. This includes (but is not limited to) impulse decisions, optimistic trades, and unwavering belief that “this week is the week.”

On managing Cameron’s fantasy team

Yes, I’m managing it. No, it’s not going great. Highlights from the audit committee:

  • Set a lineup without checking inactives; learned a lot that day.
  • Traded for a “buy‑low” WR who continued to explore historic lows.
  • Started a DST against a top‑3 offense. It was educational.
  • Left exactly 23.4 points on the bench because of a gut feeling.

Remedial plan: read one article before waivers, verify actives, and stop drafting kickers before RB2.

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